Two Muslims - A Small Skit
May 01, 2006 | 03 Rabbi al-Thanni 1427
Man#1 stands outside a small food stall on a dirty corner somewhere in a North American city. While waiting for his sandwich, Man#1 is approached by Man#2. Man#2 addresses Man#1 with a thick accent:
Man#2: You Muslim?
Man#1: Yes, I am. Are you?
Man#2: [Chuckles]…, you Muslim, huh? Where you get that bag?
Man#1: I bought it. Online.
Man#2: You know what this means [Man#2 points to Man#1’s bag]?
Man#1: Yes. It’s the Prophet’s San…
Man#2: Yes, let me please tell you. It’s the Prophet’s Sandal.
Man#1: Yes, I know it is. I bou…
Man#2: Where you get this? You Muslim?
Man#1: Yes, akhi. I am a Mus…
Man#2: You read Holy Qur’an?
Man#1: Yes, I do. I used to teach…
Man#2: This book is Holy Book. In Arabic language. Not like your English.
Man#1: Yes, I know. I studied Ara…
Man#2: My father was shaykh. I used to know many Qur’ans. Many suwrah.
Man#1: Oh, that’s great. Umm…, well, I gotta be…
Man#2: You pray? You pray the salah?
Man#1: Yes, akhi. I pray 5 times a…
Man#2: My grandfather was a shaykh. He knew the whole Qur’an.
Man#1: That’s great. Look, I’d really love to…
Man#2: Ma’sha Allah, may God guide you. I have to go now. I own a party store. I have to get back.
Man#1: Oh, okay. We’ll maybe I’ll see…
Man#2: It’s not haram!! Wa’Allahi al-’Adheem!, I don’t drink. This is for the kafirs. I sell only to kafir.
Man#1: Sure. Okay, well, it was nice…
Man#2: I have to go. You Muslims, right?
God as my witness, this exchange took place right after my moving to Philadelphia. It was one of the funniest moments in my life. I know there are some of you out there that have had this same experience with almost the same exact guy! Well, just a little humor to start the week with.
May 1st, 2006 at 7:52 pm
I know that guy, he is my father. He once got into an argument with the Rabbi of the Synagogue about how to say a prayer. He never went back. Old men from the old country who are set in their ways. Ah well. It could be two of any religion.
May 1st, 2006 at 11:27 pm
Haha… I get the “Where are you from? Where are you really from?” They seem so confused when I just name two different US States.
May 2nd, 2006 at 12:26 am
Ya subhanallah! I’ve been asked if I pray too, and I’ve been asked to recite al-fatihah too! I’ve also been told by some people that I have to do things they themselves did not do!
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:20 am
Salaam ‘Alaikum
Ha ha Inaya I have that convo all the time — with Muslims and non Muslims.
May 3rd, 2006 at 7:32 am
Man: You Muslim?
Me: Alhamdulillah I hope so.
Man: Why you reading that??
Me: What?
Man: THAT! SUFISM … NO GOOD, NO GOOD. HARAM.
Me: Er, al ghazali??
Man: NO GOOD. IN ISLAM THIS HARAM..
etc etc
or
SOME MUSLIM: salam - I’m Aish’a.
Me: Waalaikum assalam, I’m Debbie
SM: *stunned* Salaam. I’m Aish’a
Me: Waalaikum assalam - I’m Debbie
SM: *fishing for another answer* I’m AISH’A
Me: Still? Cool. I’m Debbie. Please to meet you.
SM: You Muslim?
Me: *fighting back an urge to say I wear jilbab and hijab as a fashion statement and rolling my eyes saying DUH a lot* Alhamdulillah… you?
SM: Sorry, sister. But whats you MUSLIM name?
Me: *grinding teeth* Debbie.
SM: *confused* And you’re MUSLIM??
Me: I think so… I’m starting to question that myself now…
SM: So when are you going to GET a Muslim name?
Me: I have a Muslim name
SM: *smiling* Oh really?? Great! So what is it?
Me: Debbie.
SM: *confused* er….
Me: *I help out* I’m not Arab
SM: *wanders off pronouncing takfir on me to other sister*
You need a thick skin huh?
May 8th, 2006 at 8:27 pm
This is a classic and extremely funny.
May 9th, 2006 at 10:39 am
I think I smell a Muslim-Seinfeld coming on. We need to talk to someone in Hollywood!
October 31st, 2006 at 9:44 pm
Salaam,
Hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing. That was a nice stress relief from studying physics all day. That has happened to me before on many ocassions, but I more often get comments about where I’m “really” from. I guess Wisconsin is not good enough for most people.
Wa Salaam